08 Jan 5 Ways to Help Your New Year Resolutions Stick

It’s the time of year when we make wild and, in the moment, believable New Year resolutions – we all do it. We get started but within the first couple of weeks those same resolutions have already started to fall by the wayside one by one. We berate ourselves and vow to start again, but once the momentum has gone it feels almost impossible to pick it back up again.

Other than the odd mavericks, we are all pretty much in the same boat, some don’t even get off the starting block, so why is this, and why do we do it to ourselves every year without fail, starting with such enthusiasm and then waning so quickly?

Too much, too soon

One of the main reasons is we bite off more than we can chew by setting either too many resolutions or resolutions that are simply too big a change that we struggle to sustain them. The saying small change big difference is where we should be hanging our resolutions.

Start with something simple and build on it throughout the year instead of going all guns blazing and then stopping before the new habit has even had a chance to take hold. It is believed to take at least 21 days to break a habit, so we need to give any change a good chance to bed in.

Our minds love the familiar

According to Marisa Peer – a rapid transformational hypnotherapist – our minds will always do what it thinks we want, so sticks with the familiar. If we try to change things it just keeps trying to get us back to what it knows we like, which is of course not at all helpful when we are trying to stick to our resolutions.

As the author Pam Grout suggests in her book E Squared, we need to treat our minds like a new puppy, every time it tries to pee on the rug you pick it up and take it outdoors until it learns to only pee outside. If you train your mind the once unfamiliar will become familiar and then your mind will keep bringing you back to the new familiar.

What if we succeed?

In my book Feeding Good Habits, I talk about the fear of success as well as failure because they are both genuine issues and even though we can’t believe we could be fearful of succeeding at something we really want, it is as common as fearing failure and this is because success means different kinds of change.

If you succeed will that mean you can no longer enjoy the things you love? Would you have to come out from your hiding place and face the world as a new and improved version of yourself? Would you lose the ability to use your current habits as an emotional crutch? Any of these, and more could be true, but success doesn’t have to mean any of this.

Are you worthy enough?

Jordan Peterson, author of the fabulous book Twelve Rules of Life suggests we often look after our spouses, friends, children, pets, and maybe even our cars before we look after ourselves, and this, he believes is because of our lack of self-worth.

During the safety announcement on any airplane, you will be told to always put your own mask on first before trying to assist anyone else and this should be a good rule of life to follow because if you look after yourself first then you are better able to look after the others in your care. You should also look at addressing your self-worth issues too!

Resolutions aren’t just for the New Year.

In much of the world, such as the UK where I am right now, we are slap bang in the middle of winter which couldn’t be a worse time of year to be making resolutions. Dragging ourselves off to the gym in the dark, cold, and wet, trying to eat salad when all we want is comfort food, and giving up alcohol and thus much of our social life will only add to the feelings of depression which is already common at this time of year.

The solution is to make resolutions year-round, rather than just once a year. Starting each month or each season with something new to aim for is far more sustainable and allows each new habit to settle in before you look at another. By the end of the year, assuming you stick with at least a few of them, the picture will be quite different and you will be super proud of how far you have come.